Looking Back to Move Forward
Reflections and practices to say thank you to 2023
Hi friends,
I started writing you this newsletter on the day after Christmas, curled up on my parents couch, and I’m finishing writing it on my couch back home in San Diego. We’re officially in the limbo period between Christmas and New Years. This is a time of the year when I like to invite in a lot of softness, slowness, and reflection. It’s tempting to rush around and start jumping into goal setting and planning for 2024, but what if in this slow, soft, in-between moment you could allow yourself to reflect and clear out space for what will inevitably come.
I don’t write these words or encourage these practices as an expert on a pedestal but as a fellow human doing her best to walk through this threshold with gratitude, joy, and hope. Some practices that have been helping me sink into this way of being and prepare for a new year have been journaling on the highs, lows, and lessons from 2023, discussing my reflections with family and friends, practicing yoga nidra, walking in the woods, listening to classical music through the Safe and Sound Protocol, and reading Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection.
If you’re anything like me, your inbox is flooded with offers for the new year - detoxes, resets, new products that are guaranteed to make 2024 the best year ever… It's exhausting to filter out the noise and all too easy to get caught up in the energy of pushing forward. I am all for setting intentions and actionable goals, AND I don’t want you to miss out on the opportunity to be fully here now, sitting with this full, beautiful, challenging, messy, amazing, love-filled, grief-filled mixed bag year of 2023.
Have you taken the time to look back and really honor where you’ve been this past year?
A practice to reflect on 2023
First, set up a physical space for your reflection process. Move your body first if that allows your mind to be more present. Light a candle or stick of incense to add some ritual and open up your container, and give yourself an uninterrupted block of time, even if it's only 10-15 minutes.
Here are some journaling prompts that you can use to guide your reflection. Some of these questions I’ve pulled from Conversations From the Heart, a podcast by Rachel Brathen. I’ve done this practice for many years and if you have the time, I’d recommend both her Processing 2023 and Intention Setting episodes. As you journal on these questions, you might try to write in a stream of consciousness style. Just let your pen start moving on the paper and see what is revealed to you.
Reflection questions:
What were the big events in 2023?
I recommend going month-by-month and writing down big events, trips, changes, memories. There might be months that just felt like “life as usual” that are hard to remember and that is ok too. This process can just help you review all that actually happened this year.
What did you learn in 2023?
Maybe it is a practical skill or new activity you got into. Maybe it is things that you learned about yourself. Take this one where it wants to go
What are you really proud of yourself for from 2023?
What were your biggest challenges in 2023?
What are you grateful for from 2023?
To make your gratitude practice more active, try answering this by saying “Thank you X. Thank you Y…” Using this approach has transformed the way that gratitude lists feel for me. As you write out your thank yous, feel the gratitude for that thing, person, situation in your body.
Who were the significant people who supported you in 2023?
What is a lesson you learned in 2023 that you never want to learn again?
This is a question Rachel Brathen always includes in her processing podcast episode and it is one of my favorites. While it can be a difficult question, it is a great one to get clear on anything that you might be ready to release.
Whether 2023 was an ease-filled year for you or one filled with much challenge, give yourself permission to know and acknowledge what it actually was. Give yourself the space to explore how you changed throughout this year. Make space for what was and what is to come.
I plan to send out another newsletter on welcoming in the new year next week, but for now, I am intentionally moving slow. Slower than feels comfortable, to be honest. Slow enough to soak in all that was, trusting the unfolding…
Sending you a big hug and wishing you a beautiful end to the year!