
About 2 weeks ago I re-injured my back. It’s this annoying on again off again injury I’ve been dealing with since March of this year. The original spasm and resulting flare happened while popping up on my surfboard, though I suspect the cold water and wrestling my body in and out of a very tight, very elastic 4-3 wetsuit didn’t help matters.
It's been frustrating and humbling - I know many of you reading this are no strangers to pain and the way that it impacts daily functioning. The “simplest” of things with this back injury became huge feats. Putting on pants, getting into and out of bed, getting socks and shoes on (the worst!!), sitting down… the list goes on. During this flare, every one of those activities can trigger more pain which triggers frustration and stress, which then worsens the pain. It is truly a vicious cycle.
What can we do when we are in the midst of a flare? Whether you are managing a more acute injury or whether you’re navigating life with a chronic illness, flare ups of pain and frustrating symptoms are bound to happen. They are a part of living this life in a human body.
I often support my clients in navigating flares. These are the 3 main components I focus on:
1. Choose Curiosity Over Blame
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT that your body is in a flare.
Adding a dose of blame on top of a flared up body is a recipe for disaster. And it's where most of us go. Our minds begin frantically searching for the “cause” of the flare or pain and what we did “wrong” to make this happen. It can actually worsen the pain and symptoms because this kind of thinking and self-talk sends signals to your body that you are NOT safe and this activates the stress response causing the release of hormones which further drive inflammation
Instead of blaming yourself, lean into curiosity. It can be helpful to review what was going on in your life leading up to the flare. Do any events stand out to you as potentially contributing to what happened? What was going on environmentally? What did your routines look like (sleep, eating, movement, etc.)?
Were there any early warning signs that your body gave you leading up to the flare? This can be really helpful to recognize in hindsight - identifying and getting to know these “yellow lights” or “check engine lights” in your body. We all have them. For me, lower back stiffness and soreness is a yellow light and reminder to slow down and take care. Other yellow lights I’ve learned to pay attention to are pressure headaches, feeling dehydrated, and feeling agitated or restless.
2. Create space to BE with yourself
Flares are an invitation to slow down and listen. The body talks to us but often we are too busy to listen. We are living in the mind and focused on achieving results in the external world and we forget to tune into our bodies.
Now creating space to be with yourself can be difficult, especially if the body does not feel like a safe place to be.
The first step is identifying what can help you feel safe enough when in a flare to relax and tune in.
I find sensory input can be very helpful in communicating “safe enough” to the body, because it is processed in the brainstem and is a quicker pathway to communicate to the nervous system through.
What scents are relaxing and calming to your body?
What kind of lighting feels best for you?
What kind of music or sounds create an atmosphere of safety? Nature sounds, classical music, bilateral stimulation, or perhaps no sound.
What kind of touch feels good? Soft blankets or a furry pet near your body. A warm heating pad or a cool ice pack.
What kind of physical support for your body would create more stability and security? Using plenty of bolsters or pillows to support your physical posture can help your body let go of some of the bracing.
Once you have created a way to BE WITH your physical body, tune into your emotional body.
Our emotions are very interwoven with our pain perception and experience. Focusing on and tending to the emotions underneath the symptoms can be a very powerful practice when you are in a flare. One of my favorite resources for this practice is the RAIN meditation for self-compassion by Tara Brach. In this guided meditation, she guides you through 4 steps for recognizing and being with difficult emotions.
R- Recognize the emotion present
A - Allow the emotions to be there
I - Investigate your emotional experience. Investigate from a somatic lens rather than an intellectual lens. Where do I feel this emotion in my body? What physical sensations do I feel? Does it have a color? A texture? Is it moving or staying still?
N - Nurture yourself. Call on your “higher self” to care for what is there. You can also call on outside supports - loving friends, community, a higher power - to help you nurture.
I encourage you to make some time for yourself today and experience this powerful meditation practice for yourself :)
3. Create an action plan to CARE for yourself during future flare ups
This next step is more practical, but if you know me, you know that I love to blend emotional and nervous system oriented practices with practical supports for daily living. Especially if you are living with a chronic condition that has patterns of flares, it can be extremely helpful to create a Flare Up Action Plan. This is your guide for caring for yourself and your body during a flare. The best time to make this is when you are just coming out of a flare - you have some insight and fresh perspective of what your body, mind, and spirit needed during that time.
Everyone’s flare up tool kit will look a bit different but I recommend including the following:
Symptom management supports
What medications, supplements, or other tools help to ease your symptoms and help your body find more comfort?
Activity modifications that reduce energy needs or symptoms
How can you modify cooking, cleaning, self-care, other daily living activities?
Emotional and mental health supports including:
Your favorite ways to distract yourself (movies, books, blogs, games)
Helpful ways to express your emotions during a flare (journaling, drawing, playing music, praying, etc.)
Supportive relaxation tools (guided meditation, muscle relaxation, etc.)
Self-take and affirmations - what do you notice about your thoughts during a flare? What are other statements you can tell yourself during this time?
Social supports
Who can you rely on during a flare up? What are some ways these people can best support me?
Movement
During a flare, it can be tempting to not move at all; however, very gentle movement or stretching can often be helpful
Navigating flare ups and increased pain is not easy, AND it gives us an opportunity to really lean in and meet ourselves. How can you meet yourself in the difficult times with more curiosity and more care?
What supports you when you are in a flare? I’d love to hear from you. And if this is something you would like support with, my calendar is open for free 30 minute consultation calls. This is a no-pressure, no-stress way for us to connect and explore if working together would serve you right now.